The Queen and The Karrde?
by Winter Celchu
Summary: Shada, Karrde, love, misunderstanding. Please read and review. My story is better then my summary though. Have come off hiatus so will be posting again
1. Default Chapter

_Disclaimer: The SW Universe is the property of George Lucas and the Authors who bring us the wonderful EU Today._

This is my second 'Fic. My Targeter, My Rogue is still a work in progress but I had a visit from the plot bunny and here we are another 'fic.  
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**_The Queen and the Karrde?_**

**Chapter 1 Post 1.**

She had awoken from a blissful dream. However, upon waking she felt the most profound cold sweep over her.  
Cold because of her state of indecency and  
Cold because he was not there. 

Wrapping the blanket tightly around herself she sat up. A sudden sharp and throbbing pain threatened to split her head in two. _Good Force, she thought, I couldn't have drunk that much last night._

She forced herself to ignore the pain and stood up from the bed , stumbling round the suite in search of him. Returning to the bedroom she collapsed on top of the bed. Only now did she begin to accept that he had already gone. That she had finally given herself to him, and that he had treated her as nothing more than a common…. Harlot! The realisation left her eyes burning with anger, and tears spilling out of her anguished soul.

They were right the crew aboard the Wild Karrde the flirting between them was nothing more then a game. A way to pass the time with boys of meaningless Fun. _Funny how reality can be so damn cruel._  
She knew there was a basic level of attraction between them. That one even he could not deny.  
She had finally breached the Employer/Employee covenant that her ethic code made sure she maintained.  
_I thought that I had meant more to him._

It hadn't been easy for her to admit that she loved him even to herself yet she knew it to be the truth.  
And he broke her heart.

She had never once before welcomed the pain of a hangover, never once wanted to feel the intense pain that came with them. But this time the pain made he forget him. Forget how easily he had touched her, kissed her, loved her. How it had made her feel. So alive… _stop it Shada stop thinking about him You don't care . You don't_  
Yet even as she thought this a fresh wave of tears cascaded down her face._ Pull yourself together woman you don't ever cry and your not about to start turning into a blubbering idiot now._

Stumbling to the bathroom nausea overtook her She collapsed in the shower and commanded the computer to start the shower. The hot water that had never failed to make her feel better, clean, failed her now.  
However. It made her head clear enough so that she could stand.  
Waves of hot water washed over her yet all she could feel was his hands upon her, his kisses that had trailed a irresistible heat along her body wherever he touched. All she could smell was the faintly woody smell he usually wore.

She wanted to feel him again, feel the pleasure at what he had done to her but felt dirty. For what he must have been thinking when he touched her went against her beliefs. Most women's beliefs.  
_No strings attached after all this time he thought that, that was the kind of woman she was. Well I'll show him. Teach him something that even he seemed to have not known._  
The anger that overtook her at the thought Seemed to give her a strength she had forgotten she possessed. Gave her the power to stand up tall despite the pain , physical and emotional.   
Standing that much taller she left the bathroom, dressed herself and searched for the vile Han Solo had given her last night "You'll need it ," he had said " it will help."

_Thank the force for Corellian's and there need for miracle hangover cures._ The pain in her head had almost completely subsided.

Now clad in a flight suit that seemed to mold to her skin she stepped out of her room._ He will not hurt me. No man can do that to me._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1 Post 2.**

Waking from his peaceful slumber, lying in a warm comfortable bed, completely disorientated yet happy beyond belief, he opened his eyes.

Catching a glimpse on the source of the warm weight laying upon his chest, he gasped.  
_How could I ! She's an employee! How could I take advantage of her like that!_   
Yet, another voice in his head was utterly blissful, telling him how beautiful she is._ How much he had wanted her; needed her. She had wanted him too or she would not be lying in this bed with him now._  
But the rationalist in him forced him onto the events of the night before. _She was drunk! She didn't want you! She was intoxicated, not in control. But me I have no excuse I was sober enough. I shouldn't have taken advantage of her like that._

_Sithspawn she's beautiful._ Her long black hair, highlighted in silver, cascaded over his chest. Rippling with each breath he took. Her pale skin contrasted with the darkness of her hair perfectly.  
As he looked down on her he mused._ She really isn't a tall woman yet she fit perfectly against me._

_Perfectly! Karrde you must stop this now. She did not want you! She wasn't in control. But you were you fool._ The price he would have to pay would be a high one indeed._ She will hate you how could she not after you took advantage of her like that._

_She will hate you!_  
With that thought his pride forgotten, he shifted slowly, as to not wake her. Dressed and fled. 

He now stood aboard the deck of the Wild Karrde; Having sent the remaining crewmen and women, all of which were heavily hung over, to bed.  
His own head felt like there was a live fire fight going on within his skull. As thought after thought blasted it's way through his brain.  
Yet every thought seemed to centre around one thing; His lady, Shada.  
_My lady, she's not mine, you fool. She will never be yours._ Up until last night that was completely true. He refused to regret making love to her. For that is what it was for him an act of love.

_Now you've lost her for good. She'll leave her job and she won't come back. I'll never see her again._

For once, his stoic and emotionless demeanour failed him. As a single tear ran down his face.  
A tear for a lady he loves, a lady who was now sure to hate him.  
_All the knowledge in the galaxy can't help me now._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2.**

6 Weeks Later.

Aves stood directly upon the bridge of the Wild Karrde.  
_Who am I trying to kid I ain't standing there is definitely something wrong with that girl._

All the normal crewmen and women stood around him. For he had called an emergency meeting.

If Karrde or Shada found out they had called this meeting about them Aves knew he would die 5 deaths before they even began to fix whatever it was that needed mending.

Looking upon the many worried faces he could see an array of colourful bruises and lacerations. Their postures were a far cry from a fit and healthy man or woman.  
Anyone would think they had been through a hurricane. From a certain point of view they had. They had all had to walk through Hurricane D'ukal as they had now taken to calling her temperament. It seemed to beat them mercilessly for weeks on end.

Shada's self-defence classes had become a nightmare, a dangerous sport in itself. Yet not one of the crew would speak up against it nor would they miss a class. For they could clearly see that she was hurting and was just trying to end the pain quickly the only way she knew how.

In addition to this, Their Captain was in a similar state. Throwing himself and ultimately them into a mountain of work.

The crew were all tired yet cared so much about their two stubborn friends that they stuck it out. Cared enough to risk both their wraths in order to help them.

The Meeting had disbanded; yet the solution to their problem was still unclear.  
In essence all they had decided was that they wanted Karrde and Shada back on speaking terms.

Thinking back to the day after the Party held annually by the new republic. He tried to figure out what went wrong.  
Through the unwritten alliance formed between their and Booster Terrik's organisations to the New Republic they had all been invited.

His mind floated towards the thought that had been plaguing him since that fateful morning.   
His Boss and Long-Time friend Talon Karrde had still been in his dress clothes. T he same ones he had worn at the party. But he had been working so he had thought nothing of it.  
He then focused on an image of a drunk Shada finally seeming to rid herself of the inhibitions that held herself wrapped in a iron handed grip of control.

Following on from this he began to remember the eerie coldness that she had displayed to her Long-Time friend and confidante Talon Karrde.

"Oh dear Force" Aves said aloud, " Sithspawn they didn't, He wouldn't, She wouldn't."  
"Who wouldn't what Aves?" asked Dankin an equally long standing friend on Karrde's organisation.  
Aves turned to face him, aware that they were the only two crew members standing on the bridge. He took his time in answering Dankin. "I think I know why our Shada isn't talking to Karrde. I suspect that's why he is so willing to let it alone."

Dankin's interest has increased yet instead of asking what he wanted to he stated something they had known for a long time yet never voiced, in a matter of fact tone of voice, " He loves her you know, She loves him too. It doesn't matter how hard they try to hide it. Try to suppress their feelings, But they're both so damn stubborn they are still bloody clueless about it." 

Having found the confirmation he had not known he seeked Dankin asked Aves, "What Happened?"

Aves's face displayed a rather difficult set of emotions ranging from relief to grimness.  
"I may be wrong but do you remember the night of the party?"  
"Yes Shada was drunk and Karrde was looking out for her." Dankin replied.  
" Well I think the captain looked after her a little too well. I think he may have gone as far as to nurse her through the night." Aves said with a grimace.  
"Sithspit," Dankin swore, "They needed to sleep together sometime but not under those circumstances. Do you think it was something that was said that night that started this trouble?"  
"I don't know," Aves admitted. " But I intend to find out. They're both miserable without each other. Sometimes I really hate the fact that there pride won't let them talk these things out. But we're going to have to fix this for them you and I. Even if we do end up six feet under along the way."


	4. chapter 4

**The Queen and the Karrde? Chapter 3.**

It was the start of yet another of Shada's self defense lessons. Although this time she was training the crew in the art of swordsmanship.  
Well another one of her classes with one small difference; Mara Jade.  
Soon to be Mara Jade- Skywalker.

The women were putting on a display of swordsmanship. They had asked Aves to call time for them after 5 minutes.  
The rules set before they had started meant that not one punch or kick could be thrown.  
As both women were so good with weapons there was no holding back.

Aves turned to Dankin and said quietly, "Thank the Stars that Mara is good enough of a swordswoman and a good enough of a friend to humour our Shada."   
"Look at then go," added Dankin. "Shada is really going at it. Then again after last night she was bound to have to blow off some steam."

Aves had a slightly pained expression on his face as he replied him. "For someone of Talon's intelligence you'd think it wasn't that hard for him to talk to the woman. And not be stupid enough to let some flirting tramp sooth his needs. Hoping it would make him feel better. It only made him feel worse and you can see what it did to our Shada. He'll be lucky if she ever talks to him again."   
**  
FLASHBACK   
**  
It was Ghent's birthday, so Karrde had someone organise a party for the crew of the Wild Karrde.  
Incidentally it was a crewmember who Shada hated. However, where martial arts were Shada's Forte, household arts came easily to Justine Pierce.

It was a running joke between the crew that the women were always playing off each other. Knowing full well that it was only Justine who was constantly trying to get one up Shada. Shada being Shada, had to retaliate.

Outwardly Justine hated Shada, but inside she was just jealous of her. Jealous of what she could do, what she had or could have.  
Justine wanted Karrde. Wanted the power and to hurt the only woman who stood in her way. She knew that Karrde loved Shada, but with their friendship clearly falling apart she sensed a weakness she could use.

Clearly seeing an opportunity Justine jumped at the chance to organise Ghent's birthday party.  
She had spent almost a week organising it. Baking, icing, decorating, and making it a clearly formal dress celebration.

Everyman's breath had caught at the sight of both women . Many unable to stop themselves from comparing both women.

Where Justine's curves were more accentuated, Shada's body was more toned.  
Shada's black hair highlighted with silver seemed to compliment her palish complexion. Whereas, Justine's naturally light blonde hair served to emphasize her sun kissed skin colour.  
Both women had beautiful facial features . Just in different ways. Shada was every bit as stunning as Mara Jade. Justine's beauty was a pretty and delicate, rivaling that of Iella Antilles.

The dress Shada had chosen to wear was a floor length sleeveless black evening gown. With a silver shawl of shimmer silk wrapped around her arms and shoulders. Her hair was loosely pinned back from her face. Looking gorgeous in a careless manner. The highlights in her hair shimmered the same silver as the highlights in her hair.

Justine wore a similar gown with a few differences. Hers had thin straps and her shawl was sown onto the dress pooling at her feet in a similar fashion to that of a cloak. The blue hue of her dress matched that of the colour of her eyes perfectly.

Both women were in everyway displaying a pride in femininity and for once Shada seemed to be weaponless and comfortable with it. 

**ENDFLASHBACK   
**  
Aves had called time on Shada and Mara so both stood still breathing rate only increased a fraction to what it would have been had two of the normal crewmembers sparring. Neither woman had gained the upper hand so now stood facing each other with uncharacteristically jovial expressions on their faces.  
Turning to face the crew their expressions transformed into identically feral grins. Grins that scared even the toughest crewmember when it was directed at them.

However, their fear was unfounded as both women laughed aloud. Exclaiming to each other at how the crew members had begun to display fear on their features. Hardened smugglers and information brokers cowering at the sight of two grinning women..

" Relax boys and girls," Mara said good naturedly. " We're only teaching you forms this morning."

Knowing her well enough H'sishi sighed with relief. "Force I thought they were going to make us spar." Just loud enough for those around her to hear.

Seeing the tension leave the crews faces Shada couldn't resist adding, " Would you look at that don't want them to think we're going soft. The afternoon's for sparring."

H'sishi sighed again this time speaking tiredly, " I guess I spoke too soon."

They split up into two groups headed up by Shada and Mara. Mara having deliberately taken Justine into her group.   
Aves and Dankin had already recruited her into their matchmaking scheme.  
Mara had volunteered to help Shada with this lesson upon sensing the emotions Shada's mind seemed to be screaming after seeing Justine and Karrde together the night before, Through the force. Wanting to help her friend in a way where both their reputations were left wholly intact.

Feeling particularly vengeful towards the woman on behalf of both friends she singled out Justine at least twice as much as the other crewmembers in her group. Pointedly, showing the woman she disapproved of her actions.

Shada having been observing Mara's actions cast a look of gratitude towards her longtime friend and confidante. She had been considerably cheered by Mara's efforts. That and the fact that Justine had seemed to actually gain the upper hand with Mara and failed miserably. 

Towards the end of the day, before dinner, Shada had left on Mara's instructions the contents of their conversation was unknown.   
Justine turned to Ghent and commented. " I don't think Mara likes me much."  
Ghent 's retort was both sarcastic and serious as he said, " You think! Your ruining her closest friends lives! Did you honestly believe she would befriend you. Or make an honest effort to that effect. Think on that.  
Oh and on behalf of most if not all the crew get your mitts off the captain, Kitten, Shada is the cat in his life. We intend to keep it that way." 

Seeing agreement on most of crews faces and barely concealed delight on Aves's, Mara's and Dankin's faces. She knew that once again she had lost and Shada had won.

Taking the bait she decided that she would at least try to save face. She threw and insult directed at Shada, " She's gutter trash compared to me, and you all know it. Force knows our Captain does."  
Before she could leave Mara had her slammed up against the adjoining wall. Who continued by telling her in no uncertain terms to leave Karrde and Shada alone. Whilst, casually throwing her to the floor. 

Falling in a heap Justine stood red- faced from embarrassment and anger. She turned tail and stormed from the gym amidst the immense laughter of the crew. Pausing at the door. She turned back to shout, " This isn't over!" Slamming the door so hard even Shada heard it from her room, two corridors away.

Seconds later Mara smiled innocently, one of her more dangerous expressions reserved only for the worst she believed deserving of her wrath, and replied to the now departed Justine. "No it's not over Justine. Not by a long shot."

"Phase one is now almost complete." Aves replied sporting an identical expression to Mara.

The crew having figured out something was amiss cheered.


	5. chapter 5

**The Queen and The Karrde?  
Chapter 4. **

JUSTINE 

"Aaaargh," She screamed as she knocked down everything in sight.  
_Who does she think she is!_

Knowing that she had failed once again she began to feel scared.

"What's his problem no one's ever refused me before"

Justine knew what she had to do now and she hated them for it; she hated Shada and even Karrde. Aves and Mara had just entered her hit list too.  
_I've never met such forceful resistance before. How can they like her more than me._

"If only I could get close enough to him to get him to bed me. If he trusts me enough for that the rest will be easy."  
_Kriff girl pull yourself together girl. You've got a job to do. He won't accept failure again._

_She Began to shake._

Stepping out of the shower , she had calmed down considerably, She chose her clothes.

Having no information for him her outfit would have to be enticing enough for him to look past that. Enjoyable enough a view that he wouldn't punish her as badly as he would with no effort on her part.  
The kind of punishment he would probably meet out would be no punishment at all. At least she hoped so.

Walking into the office she was stopped by Katia's voice as she exclaimed, "uh oh!"   
Justine turned questioning the woman before her "What uh oh?"   
"Well you're wearing a full face paint, skirt, heels and a Barbie shirt. You only do that when there's trouble. What happened?"

" I failed," Justine answered her simply.

"Oh boy Tina he's going to be real mad at you."   
"I know Kat! I know. But there's nothing I can do about it now." Replied Justine in a half defeated voice.

"I can't tell the boss that Karrde is in love with another woman. Can't tell him that Karrde won't go near me with a 5 foot barge pole. I figured that because he and Shada aren't talking I would stand a chance but I don't! I'll keep trying I have too he'll kill me if I don't. But even if I do succeed in this job I'm beginning to think Karrde doesn't actually know anything to help. I really don't.

Katia watched her sister and let her finish her half rant . She wished their was something she could do. She didn't want Jussie dead for her sister did was she was doing to protect her family. Well my family our own.  
"I'm sorry Jussie. Really I am , I don't want to lose you!"  
Hugging the younger woman to her she smiled grimly. Muttering a indiscernible prayer. _I hope she can get him on her side on both counts._  
She hoped her sister could charm their boss with her own brand of magic. Hoped her sister was willing to give herself to him.

"You'd better go in now baby, you know he doesn't like to be kept waiting." Katia's voice was sympathetic and held a discreet under current of fear. Fear she hoped her sister didn't feel or sense off her.

"I can handle this Kat. I'm going to have too." Justine said as she walked out into the corridor preceding his room. The last thing she heard before knocking on his door and waiting was her sisters voice saying, " For both our sakes I hope you can. But for your sake I hope you won't have too."


	6. chapter 6

**The Queen and The Karrde?**

**Chapter 5**

Shada was sitting in her room contemplating whether she wanted to go to breakfast or not.

She was getting tired of not feeling well enough to go.

_What is wrong with me! I never get sick! _

With that thought she made up her mind to go. She wouldn't give Justine the satisfaction of knowing something was wrong._ Mara will accidentally impale me with her lightsaber if I don't go. She hates that that thing as much as I do._

Clad in a jumpsuit, that seemed to be tighter on her then usual, she went to the mess hall.

Sitting next to Mara , she was eating a slice of Correlian bread dry. Or trying to eat as was the case.

Mara sat next to both her and Karrde but sat talking to Aves who sat across from her.

As nausea overtook her once again Shada's face turned grim. Pain filling her body holding her stiffly in one place.

Sensing her distress Mara turned to her and asked rather uncertainly "Are you alright?" _I can see she's not but she wouldn't want me broadcasting it and I know she'll deny it so it'll be ok._

"I'm fine Mara just a little stiff from our training session that's all."

_Please Mara take the bait I know we didn't train but I don't want anyone knowing something's wrong._

_Alright Shada I'll bite._" Oh of course how could I forget we're not as young as we used to be. Discouraging any eavesdroppers she said " Of course we'll have to get the class to try it."

_Eat something my friend. _She said to her through the force_. People will get suspicious if you don't._

Not believing that she's alright Karrde leaned over Mara and said to her, " You've been coming down with something for a while. Take the day off rest will help. For stars sake eat something girl, you've hardly touched anything over the last couple of weeks." _What am I doing she isn't going to want to hear this from me. But I'm scared she never gets sick. There must be something really wrong with her. She may not want the advice from a friend but maybe a concerned captain will do._

As this was the first thing he had said to her in a long time that could be considered friendly advice her mind screamed out for her to listen to him. Cursing her weakness she felt her eyes fill with tears. Angry at both herself and at him she lashed out. " What would you know about it Captain! There is nothing wrong with me. And I'll eat how I see fit."

Seeing his face fall, even for just a fraction of a second made her feel instantly bad. But she couldn't take the words back, wouldn't take them back. Neither could nor would forgive him for all he had done.

Aves looked at her face and upon seeing her with tears in her eyes he motioned to Mara.

Looking at her friend she could see the message clearly written in his eyes. _I'll see to him you see to her._

_Dear force she's almost crying! I've never seen her upset over something so trivial. Anyway she'd usually have just hit him._

_She'll be really mad if she knows anyone saw her weakened._

" Come on Shada. You heard the boss you have the day off. I need a saviour.Mirax is taking some of the girls and me out."

Too tired to argue with her Shada stood and made her way to the door. She did not leave before casting one look back at him. A look she made sure he missed.

Justine's grin had turned feral as she glimpsed the slight scene over the other side of the mess hall. Her expression turned elated as she saw the look Shada had thrown Karrde's way before leaving. A look full of regret and pain.

_Maybe, just maybe I can still do this. He'll want me if it's the last thing I do. He will hate her too._

_She's up to something!. _Thought Ghent as he watched Justine. _I'll find out what and stop her. Aves, Dankin and Mara will help._


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for your patience! Welcome back everyone.  
_  
I managed to snap my disk over the weekend so im having to re write the next 3 posts on all three fics so this is unbetaed and any mistakes are mine._

My beta will go over it soon so i'll rewrite it.  
Feel free to pm me with complaints.

I hope i haven't lost any readers and those faithful who have returned please enjoy this.

DWB has finally started to go away. 

My Dad made off with my laptop so i'm having to post this from my babysitters comp.

LOL two little kids think that the icons are really cool.

I will read my normal fics soon.

Anyway without further ado...

**The Queen and The Karrde?  
Chapter 6 post 1.**

_Day 1._

Even a ship as unconventional as the _Errant Venture_ could not miss the, rather spectacular, entrance of seven extraordinarily well known women. Not that one would guess who they were from their behavior! 

Each woman carried an assortment of colourful shopping bags brimming with the day's purchases. The same purchases that moments later were deposited on the Bridge, directly in front of Booster Terrik. Who was then ordered to take the few bags they had brought to their suite.

The women then turned to leave clearly expecting instant obedience!

Booster Terrik proceeded to thunk his head on the aft of the Bridge exclaiming, "I'm _never_ doing this again!"

One of his crew members turned to him sympathetically and said," It's not like you had a choice sir. Like you told us a few minutes ago it's only for a couple more days."

Occupying the large living room the six women now sat chatting and consuming rather liberal amounts of alcoholic beverages. Additionally to this the seven women had begun to model the newly purchased additions to their wardrobes, having had the delivered moments after leaving the bridge.

Now that the new clothes were put away the women took a few little bags and sat down in a somewhat stilted circle.

"You know Tycho's going to kill me for this." Winter Said with a smile brandishing the first set of newly acquired lingerie. " Not that he'll be seeing it any time soon."

After a round of laughter Mirax replied, "It's their own fault. They're the ones who went and started _another_ bar fight on their night out. We deserve this time."

"True," Leia piped in; " I had to get away from his sheer stupidity. Refusing to go to the med bay. Lying in bed still beat up and expecting _me_ to wait on him hand and foot until he heals. "

Grinning Iella said, " It's just like before you got married Mara. Wedge still refuses help from me. He's letting Wes who came out surprisingly well play pranks on him because he's too hurt to stop him." 

" If you think that's bad," Mara said, "I had to put Luke in a healing trance when he refused hospital care. I'm here to escape his temper when he finds out what I've done." 

The statement set the women off again.

As if it had just occurred to her Iella turned to Shada and asked her, " So what's your excuse for being here? I didn't know Karrde had gone with them."

"He didn't." Shada answered flatly. "Not that it would be any of my business if he did go. We're not together you know that."

Sensing Shada's unease Mara changed the subject. "So Leia, Who am I going to have to kill to put a smile back on Jaina's face?"

"What's wrong with Jaina?" Winter asked clearly concerned.

Leia with an uncharacteristic anger in her voice answered the women's curious looks," You remember me telling you about her first Real boyfriend?"

"Zekk right?" Shada replied, "The bounty hunter turned Jedi apprentice."

"Yes him." Leia's voice turned angrier still. "Well that boy broke my little girls heart. He led her on for weeks. Apparently he has been pretending to love her as more then a friend for the last month!" 

"Oh, I am going to kill that boy!" Mara sputtered after the few moments of silence the news garnered.

Leia turned and started again. "That's not the worst thing either. He gave her the lets be friends' speech ten minutes later. She was devastated."

"Men are clueless when it comes to break ups." Tendra spoke up.  
She had just gotten up from her nap. She had had a headache after their breakfast and had missed the shopping trip. Well not that she hadn't gotten purchases. The other women had seen to that.  
" I remember Lando tried that line with me when he joined the war efforts. Of course he didn't mean it and was only trying to protect me. But still he almost lost his two front teeth after that one."

Winter and Iella then said "what about the it's not you, it's me line," in unison. "I can't stand it when they say that. It's so obvious they're lying!"

"_Men_!" All seven women exclaimed shaking their heads in disgust.

Mirax then brought out a picture of Valin who had just started middle school. He was posed with an arm around a prettily smiling girl.

"Who's that?" Iella asked her.

"Her name is Wiara Rymarkiewicz. She's a girl in his class." Mirax told her.

" I don't remember Syal mentioning her." Iella replied.

" Valin said she's new. Syal may mention her when she finds out that Val asked her out. My little boy has a girlfriend."

"Syal is going to kill him!" said Winter." He's her best friend. I always assumed they would get together at some point." 

"She probably will come to me about that." Said Iella. "I guess I always assumed the same thing."

Mara rejoined the conversation by saying. " If they're anything like Luke and me that won't happen for at least another ten years." 

Chuckling Shada broke in; "Maybe it will kick start Syal into a little jealousy."

Iella smiled, "That ones doubtful he's her best friend she will never admit to anything more."

" So what did Corran say about this?" Tendra asked Mirax.

Shaking with suppressed laughter Mirax replied. " He gave Valin the _Talk_. I swear he was traumatised he went straight to his room even agreeing to do the dishes to make Jysella stop teasing him about it."

"Teasing how?" Asked Leia.

"Oh, I heard her chanting one of those **sitting in a tree rhymes** last week." Winter said. " I wasn't really paying attention but now I guess I know why. Hang on yes it was Wiara's name mentioned." She finished laughingly. 

" I don't know how they come up with those silly rhymes." Shada said. " No mother teaches them." 

Iella grinned suddenly. " I know my Syal learned it from a holodrama of Syal Antilles. Apparently the rhyme originated from her holo. The one she starred with Face Loran in."

"Really?" Tendra asked. "I'll have to remember that next time he hits on me. I'll send him running without any death threats this time." 

" He hits on you too?" Asked shada. " I've taken to just threatening him before he even opens his mouth." 

Laughing Mara raises her glass. After the others followed suit she said. " A toast to the idiocy of the male species. And how we are superior to them in everyway!"

"Hear, hear!" came the replies off all six remaining women.

As the night progressed side conversations broke out.

Mara and Shada had retreated to one couch and sat speaking quietly.

The conversation clearly conveyed Mara's concern for her friend. 

Unaware that the other women had heard Mara ask of the incident in the mess hall at breakfast where she had witnessed Shada's strange reaction to Karrde. She asked her friend,

" Are you feeling any better?"

" To be honest Mara," Shada said slightly miserably. " All I seem to be feeling is worse now even though I had a good time. I can't shake the bad feelings."


	8. chapter 8

_**Post Two.**_

This one's dedicated to my best friend Jen and her making me sit and rewrite this today. Thanks Jenny Wren.

It was now evening on the third day of the women's mini vacation.

The woman had enjoyed two days of shopping and other recreational activities. They had even been to play a few rounds of slingball, having developed a liking to it when they played during the time coming up to Mara's wedding.

The other activities, which had the women intaking copious amounts of alcohol, had quickly become the bane of Booster Terrik's existence.

He had, had to pay for damages at a local bar where a fight had broken out.

Fortunately, for him the bar owner had believed the women when they had told him it really wasn't their fault that the fight had happened.

Strangely enough they hadn't seemed shy about, omitting certain details about the manipulative flirtation and rather harrowing games of truth or Dare; the real cause of the fight. 

They had told the barman that the men had taken offence at a lost bet.

This was true but not in the way they had led the man to believe!

"Captain" Terrik had also had to contend with a mass mutiny when the girls had organised a day of recreational activities for the crew to enjoy, under the guise of training exercises.

Booster had to force himself to contain his laughter when he thought about the plans he had overheard the women made; plans of devious revenge on husbands and friends and more importantly the "Rogues" and " Wraiths." The latter two who had teamed up to torment them with an endless barrage of pranks.

He could imagine the reactions of the men when the women re -recruited the female members of both squadrons to help their schemes along.

The infamous war between the two gender factions of the military was about to escalate in the female's favour.

He was still debating whether or not to contact Karrde tonight. The man had left several messages each indirectly pertaining Shada in one form or another. Not that anyone would but him would understand that from the words his friend chose to use. 

Mara, who had perceived that this could happen, had warned him not to give out any information about her friend. She had told him to either deliberately misinterpret these messages or to ignore them and not answer at all.

Funnily enough, he had received the same type of message from both Aves and Ghent too.

Booster knew it had to have been a hard decision for them all to have made; so he put down the holophone knowing that it must have become an immense problem for it to have escalated so.

Any idiot could see that Shada and Karrde were meant to be together. Yet, for a man who had recognised the same behavioural pattern in both Mara and Luke and Iella and Wedge, he was sure clueless as to his own situation. 

Booster Terrik of all people knew about the consequences of wasted time and how it felt to waste the time away without those you love.

He loved Mirax and was immensely proud at how she had grown into such a fine woman in the five years he had been gone. Somehow, even now, he still couldn't seem to stop himself from regretting the time.

Speaking of time he had told the kitchen staff that he would take the women dinner tonight. He did not think the young servers would appreciate having to deal with five hungover women and two who had no doubt had yet another sleepless night. He wondered which two women would be designated as drivers tonight? There was only a few days left of their vacation!

He knew for a fact that Mara and Shada had brought the women back relatively unscathed after a few rounds of slingball a few hours before. 

"Alright, Shada, what is going on with you?" Mara asked in a concerned tone of voice. " I know the others were drunk but you have been sober. The other women haven't noticed yet."

She had been wrong though someone else had noticed.

Iella walked up to them. Handing Shada a glass of water with a mild painkiller dissolving in it.

" Shada? What's the matter with you? This isn't the first time you have been sick this week."

Pale faced and more then slightly nauseated she answered them. Trying to hold back the slight tremor in her voice. "It's nothing Mara, Iella, really the food just hasn't been agreeing with me that's all."

Both of her friends looked at each other over the top of her head, regarding her suspiciously, but let it pass. Leia called out to them that the dessert try had been brought up.

All seven women chatted amicably as Winter, Mirax and Tendra brought in the special flavoured Kaff they had made. They sat around a table as Shada and Iella placed cakes on its surface.

Unfortunately, the same smells that Tendra and Leia had called heavenly looking at the array of different dessert, each more decadent then the last. Shada's stomach started churning again.

As her face paled for a second time that day Leia looked at her curiously. Shada managed to make it through the consumption of the dessert before her nausea won out again.

This time it was Winter who enquired," Do you want to go and see a Doctor? You don't seem to be getting any better."

"No thank you Win, it'll pass." Shada answered.

"Nice try Shada," Tendra said. "You've been acting strange for about two months now."

Mirax turned to her and asked, "Is it to do with Karrde? Every time we've mentioned him you've seemed to have changed the subject as quickly as we allowed." 

The gentleness of her friends' voices and their faces so full of genuine concern and empathy caused Shada's eyes to tear up. And to everyones surprise, hers first and foremost, Shada began to talk.

" You all know that for the past 18 months my feeling for Talon have been changing. I keep trying to fight it and deny my attraction. Anyway, about two months ago all of you were at the NR ball right?"

Each woman nodded slowly remembering.

"Do you remember how much I had to drink that night? It wasn't enough to make me not know what I was doing. Yet, it was enough to lower my inhibitions and my control was completely shattered. Well to cut a long story short I slept with him. He left me before the morning and made it clear that he wanted nothing more to do with me after that night. Then at Ghent's lifeday party he blatantly showed his indifference to me prefer to flirt with that witch Justine! She just made things worse. I have never felt so cheap in my life."

"First things first Shada!" Leia said in a firm voice. " You are not cheap or in anyway unworthy of anyone. Secondly, it is Justine who is the cheap one. I f I hear you putting yourself down over that moronic nerf-herder I'll shoot you myself!"

Shada smiled a little at that for she knew her friend was at least half-serious in her threat. Her friends automatic defence of her also secretly warmed her.

Iella now followed on from Leia. " The same goes for all of us! We'll be happy to shoot Justine for you too." "And not to be outdone by a politician," she continued, "It's Karrde who should feel cheap. No-one has the right to use another living being like that!"

Seeing Shada relax a little more Tendra now interjected softly and questioningly, " But that still doesn't explain why you've been so ill my friend?"

Shada looked a little surprised by that. " Of course it does Tendra. I've been so stressed lately that I've caught a two week bug." 

" It looks more like a nine month bug to me Shada." Observed Mirax with a slight frown on her face.

Shada Paled considerably after hearing that statement, terrified about the implications of what her friend had just suggested.

Winter now looked at her steadily and asked, " When did you have your last monthly cycle?"

Shada groaned at that," I put missing it down to stress. It's not the first time it has disrupted my cycle before." She seemed to justify her thought. Justify her need for denial.

Sensing her distress Mara brought her another glass of water glancing briefly at each woman. She used the thought to communicate the sentiment that clearly told them to back off for now.

They each took the hint but Leia watched her friend carefully, "We'll take you to see Cilghal in the morning Shada. Just to make sure."

**-----signature-----**


	9. chapter 9

**_Post 3._**

Shada had come back to the _Errant Venture_ and had gone somewhere where the women could not find her. A room which only Booster Terrik had access to.

Booster knocked on the door calling out to Shada softly, "The girls want to know if you're alright? Do you want me to tell them where you are yet?" 

**Flashback**

Booster Terrik sat in his chair on the bridge of the _Errant Venture_ once again banging his head on the table. A somewhat regular occurrence since the women had come to stay.

"They're up to something!" He moaned looking at his crew. " It's been far too quiet and Shada and Tendra have been gone too long." 

"I'm sure they are just tired." Said Jarek placatingly. " They probably just went out to get some air. Shada has been kind of pale these last few days; Tendra was a little jittery this morning after her holocall. They probably just needed some quiet time."

"That's true." Booster replied thoughtfully. "I wonder what the matter is?"

They had been talking for a few more minutes before it happened

Both women came into the room; Shada looked even paler then before she left, if that was possible. Tendra's expression betrayed a myriad of emotions of which shock; apprehension and pleasure were most prominent.

Shada, from what he could see, spoke to Tendra and had her go back to the room alone, whilst she took care of something else.

To his great surprise Shada came straight to him and asked is there was a spare room free. Seeing the weariness on her face he quickly agreed. Being careful so that Jarek didn't hear what they were talking about.

"Please don't tell the other's where I am." She pleaded. "I'll talk to them when I'm ready.

"If you want somebody to talk to…" Booster started to say before Jarek came towards them. When he was by Booster and Shada he told his Captain that he had an important Holocall from Talon Karrde.

Shada Looked visibly sick upon hearing this, quickly turning away but not before Jarek and Booster saw tears form in her eyes.

_Interesting,_ Booster thought, _so whatever is happening to him is affecting his lady just as bad. _

He turned to Jarek and ordered him to show Shada to his office and tell no one on the pains of death! He then went to field Karrde's call hoping it wasn't about Shada again.

**EndFlashback**

He took Shada's ensuing silence to mean that she wasn't ready to talk to her friends yet.

Turning the corner he, rather unsurprisingly, ran into Leia Organa Solo.

"Ouch!" Exclaimed Leia, form her position on the floor.

Grinning and chortling booster spoke down to her," well, well, well, trying out for a new position on the Senate Floor today Ambassador Solo." 

" Very funny Booster…" Said Leia good-naturedly. " I probably asked for that one. Joking aside though I wanted to talk to you."

"If this is about Shada Leia you're out of luck. I don't know where she is. Booster said exasperated. "I've already told most of the others. Besides even if I did I wouldn't tell you. When and if she wants to talk to you she will come to you herself.

_Do they really think that I will tell them what they want to know? They obviously know more then me. Karrde seemed even more agitated then usual I wonder what the matter is? _

Leia opened the door of the Suite she shared with six of her friends wearing an expression of concern. As soon as she stepped into the room the other women were occupying.

Winter who knew her the best diffused the women's uneasiness with just one word. "Well?" She asked.

" Mara's right Win," she replied whilst looking at her sister in Law." He is hiding her form us but he's doing it to protect her so I think maybe we should give them a little time before we try to find her again."

The others nodded reluctantly knowing that Shada would come to them only when she had made a decision, one way or another.

" I really couldn't tell if it was positive or not." Tendra said. "She reacted so strangely that even I couldn't tell." Concern laced her tone but there was something else in her voice too. A happy sound that she couldn't quite hide. 

Ever the intelligence officer Iella picked up on it. " So Tendra? What happened to you this morning? Nothing has managed to faze that glow you've had since you came back this morning." 

" So what did Lando do this time?" Mirax asked of her teasingly." I remember you telling me you were expecting a call from him landside."

Looking as though she couldn't contain her excitement she told them," He's organised a second honeymoon for us. He told me there was something important he wanted to ask me." She then looked a little apprehensive. " I know it's a good thing but I can't help but wonder what he wants to talk to me about."

"Oh honey, Of course it's good he probably has a surprise to you." Answered Mirax.

"He probably knows he has to make up for his part in the men's idiotic behaviour." Chimed in Winter. " I wonder what the others will come up with for us.

"Tendra looked relieved. "She laughed and said." It's going to be another one of there who can come up with the best present to us thing again."

"I do love when they do that." Iella said. "It's always fun to get gifts showered upon me."

"I just hope Luke doesn't choose something Jedi related again." Mara said. "I mean don't get me wrong the Holcorn from Nomi Sunrider was a lovely gift, but even I want him to leave his Jedi Master Persona behind sometimes."

The women's conversation carried on for a few minutes before they trailed off. Each woman feeling concern and guilt at having forgotten about Shada even if it was only for a few minutes.

She had just watched the sunset and still Shada couldn't bring herself to let herself believe in what she had been told. _I can't be pregnant. I just can't!_

She knew she would have to face her friends and host soon. But she knew that when she did she would have to accept the inevitable. She was carrying Karrde's Child.

_I fainted,_ she thought._ I never faint_.

"He'll never speak to me again." She said to herself miserably. " He'll hate me and take my child away too. "He'll never accept me leaving and never coming back. That witch Justine will try to raise my child."

_I can't let that happen. I won't let this ruin my life. I never wanted to be a mother. But I'm going to be and I'll love my child. She will never live to see that horrible home wrecker Justine. Lots of kids grow up without a father. It'll be ok._

My friends will help me disappear.

She activated her comlink and commed all her friends and asked Jarek to find Booster. A plan already forming in her mind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 7.**

"I wonder what Terrik is hiding?" Asked Ghent. " I heard him answer the boss after asking after Shada. Again."

" I take it you mean he was evasive and never actually answers the question," replied Aves, stating rather then asking.

"He's keeping something from us, I'm sure he is," reiterated Ghent with real conviction.

" She's been gone for three days now." Commented Dankin. "I know she was only supposed to be away for the one."

"Slicing only gave me that Mara asked for the extension, well informed him really, then deferred him To Booster." Reported Ghent, after Aves had him look again. "And we all know how well that's been going for the boss," he continued sarcastically.

" I realise she's just trying to avoid the boss, but enough is enough. I mean they are beginning to sound like Mara did when she knew Skywalker was in trouble."

"What happened that morning? Why were Mara and Shada both on edge that day? I thought we'd managed to put them together, they were supposed to talk it out." interjected Aves. Subverting Ghent's mini rant.

Dankin winced and answered him. "She ran from something in his office that day. All I know, well remember is Justine, the grin on her face, like the cat that got the cream. The boss was letting her play up to him that night; or at least that's what it looked like."

The look on his face darkened as he, "We really need to find out what that witch is up to."

"I've been trying to." Said Ghent. "She's been taking some unscheduled stops over the last few months. I've been following her work progress for a while and have been coming up with some discrepancies."

The other men held questioning looks on their faces clearly asking for him to elaborate.  
" What I mean is she has some sort of agenda that's leaving an untraceable paper trail. Well to anyone that's not me anyway."

"Modesty aside young man!" Quipped Aves." Do you really suspect she's dealing outside of the organisation? We all know she's been trying for a power play here but I really thought that's all it was. A play to knock the alpha queen off her throne."

"He may be right Aves," replied Dankin lifting an eyebrow. "Anyone who simply wants what it seems she wanted wouldn't be making such a play of it. She's everything Shada is not and we all know she's been trying to be better. Pushing too hard to fast."

"Speaking of which, is anyone else worried about Talon?" Asked Aves, his use of the boss's first name betraying the seriousness of his question and concern. "He looked awful today."  
"Looks fine to me." Said Ghent. " It's the way that he's acting that is getting to me. Always cool he was, and now he's his temper is flaring hard. He is really beginning to lay into everyone after his talks with Booster Terrik."

Chuckling," I haven't been on the receiving end of one of those yet, but I passed one and had to wince in sympathy. The boss mad is a sight to behold." Added Dankin.  
" I worry he's using Justine to soothe his pride after Shada obviously rejected him again. Neither of the realise what the other is seeing or truly feeling." 

"Sithspit!" muttered Ghent. "Even I can see what they are feeling. I know I'm clueless about proper relationships but even I could do better then that. Scares me it does, two of the smartest people in the galaxy falling into such a human trap."

The men seemed unwilling to discuss the future further. Each only was allowing the events to play through their heads. The Two older men began to fear the darkness the thread of thought produced so they immediately launched into a harassment of Ghent's past relationships.

**Un Betaed as of yet by will correct it when she has time to read it. Was unwilling to make you wait any longer since the wait has already been considerable.**


	11. Chapter 11

Post 8.

Shada opened the door to see the look of concern on Booster's face. All  
she  
heard was  
"I know you've called the others but I'd like to talk to you alone   
first.  
Get them to come in a half an hour please." Despite the pleasant tone  
she  
heard, it was an order. "I know you don't take kindly to orders but  
this is  
something that needs to be done and I believe you'll want to keep it  
private." 

Not allowing herself the luxury of anger she did as she was told,  
pausing  
only to contemplate the ominous tome she had heard in the others mans  
voice  
in his latter statement. As, he predicted, she cautiously followed the  
order  
and both were left with the feeling the women would try to eavesdrop  
upon  
the conversation somehow.

He watched as she closed the lid on the bottle which she was taking  
long  
drinks out of. Wasting time, checking on the tightness of the lid. He  
could  
almost hear the argument going o inside her head. Knowing she knew the  
futility of procrastination. Although, she seemed, almost, to be  
steeling   
herself against him. Perhaps, fearing his friendship with Karrde.   
"Shada," He said in reproach. "I may be old but that does not make me  
either senile or less then I was." Trying for levity.  
"I'm sorry old man." She quipped. "Senile? You? I would never." Taking  
the  
tension breaker he had offered. 

Nerves jangling in silence, she finally succumbed to the loudness of  
no  
words spoken. Her breathing was becoming an unwanted annoyance; He must  
be  
able to tell she was still nervous. Questioning her abilities as she  
knew  
she was slipping up further she mentally checked what he might actually   
know.  
"So…" She said. " So… you probably want to know what's been going  
on?"

Unbeknownst, to either of them a gasp went up from the remaining women.  
Whom, had used all the intelligence skilled acquired through years of  
war.  
And politics! To spy on them. A conversation which they felt would be   
very  
significant.

Another, pregnant pause followed her statement. This time it was from  
Booster who had chosen to gather his thoughts. Careful not to reveal  
his  
suspicions he asked her," Yes, I think that's a good idea. Where do you  
want   
to start?"

"Hmm, well I'm not sure how much Talon already told you. However, I'll  
tell  
you anyway. Just please don't interrupt me until I'm finished. I'm not  
sure   
I'll be able to if you do."

Booster said nothing only nodding his head, silently beckoning her to  
continue.

"It all started the night of the annual ball, well before that really,   
but  
it was only an attraction then. Well, I was slightly drunk and well I  
took  
him to bed…

"Go ahead…" He silently implored while she gathered her thoughts.  
Unsurprised at what she had just told him. For he knew it had been  
inevitable. Everyone could see that.

"He left the morning after, like nothing had happened and has avoided  
me  
since. Well until he let Justine wrap herself around him anyway. He  
used me,   
disrespected me and just expected our previous friendship to continue."

Wrapping her arms around herself, suddenly cold, did nothing to dispel  
the  
sickness she felt inside her. She was about to betray her child's  
father and  
although she knew it was for the best, she still felt guilty.  
She stopped there and kept a blank face yet, Booster knew there was  
still   
more. He opened his mouth to interrupt and remembered his unspoken  
promise.  
Once again, he closed his mouth and kept his vow.

Five minutes of silence stretched between them before Shada once again  
picked up her story.  
"I'm pregnant." She said quietly observing the look of shock that   
flitted  
briefly across his face. But again he kept his word and did not speak.  
He  
must know that I really will stop if he did.

Knowing that he would help given her concerns, her fears she took a  
deep  
breathe.  
"He'll take my baby from me, if I let him find out. I will never share  
my  
child with that idiot witch. I can't. I won't"

This time she expected his answer, would not hold him to the promise  
having  
pushed so far. "Do you really believe that?" He asked of her." If and   
it is  
if no matter what you may think he doesn't feel more for you then I  
think  
he does, friendship and honour will not allow him to act in that  
manner."  
She knew he believed that but there was more to her decision and he  
would  
need to hear it to keep her council.  
"He doesn't love me." She echoed denying his claims that his friend  
felt  
something more. "He doesn't he loves her."  
She stopped unable to say Justine's name for fear of breaking down.  
"He will love our child though and he won't let her go. They will  
poison my  
baby against me if I stay with them. I'd hate him for it later. I'd  
hate him  
as much as I hate myself for this, but I don't think I could live with  
that.  
Don't think I could survive." 

"Answer me this Shada." Booster began already knowing her answer but  
needing to hear it anyway. "Do you love him?"   
Karrde may have played the woman around with his actions but he really  
believed Talon loved the woman standing before it, and if not love  
precisely  
it was as close to it as he had ever seen his friend come. Something,  
he  
imagined Han had felt for Leia before truly falling for her.  
Listening for her answer he was surprised when she actually answered  
him.  
Told the truth with her broken whisper;"yes."

It was the last thing she said for a full ten minutes. He saw her  
struggle  
against tears which she would not let flow. Not around him, maybe not  
for   
herself either. It was unhealthy to bottle things up as bad but she  
knew her  
limits and he would have to respect them.  
Lost in thought he barely heard her when she spoke again. Had to ask  
her to  
repeat it unsure as to whether she had really spoken. "I want to  
leave."She  
had said. "Need to go where he will never find me, never know about my  
baby."  
"Shada…" He began not really knowing what he could say butt knowing it  
would be a mistake to let her do so. Although still unsure what to do. 

She saw the look in his eyes, saw she was losing him so she tried  
again."  
I'll do this with or without your help. This is for the best. Talon  
will get  
over it. She will see to it."  
It was his turn to remain quiet and she waited seemingly patient for  
him to  
reply. She had expected what he asked of her next." I suppose you will  
want  
my silence as well?"   
A serious tone of voice, one she could not interpret. A strange look  
crossed  
his face. One that sacred her because she saw an element of  
vulnerability in it. "I don't like lying to friends. I expect it will  
be  
harder for you ladies though," He said directly addressing someone  
else. She  
had forgotten the other women. Had not known they were there.

Broken the first rule of survival, always be aware of your  
surroundings. 

"You might as well come out." He continued not at all surprised that  
they  
had found a way to bypass security measures and listen in on them. "I'm  
sure  
you will be a great help if you can be that god. Your silence if you  
will  
not give your help."

They came into the room unashamed of their actions. They had done it  
out of  
concern for a dear friend and refused to be sorry for caring.

"Shada…"Mara began….  
"No Mara" Came Shada's instant reply fearful of what her best friend  
might  
say, might do. "I know you love him too but you help him this time.  
I'll beg  
if I must but ..."

"Oh Shada!" exclaimed Mirax sympathetically.

"No one will make you beg." Cut in Tendra fearing Mirax's reaction,   
sensing  
a defensive response to the plan. "We'll help you anyway we can. We all  
love  
you too. Will do what you feel is best you know we will love."

Shada finally relaxed and smiled telling her baby silently, that come  
what  
may her family, the women around her would let themselves break to help  
her. 

Later that night a plan was formed and started. A message was sent to  
Talon  
Karrde.

A tearful goodbye and a sudden disappearance. A few days had passed and  
a   
void had opened up in each woman.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Queen and the Karrde Chapter 9.**

Three days after the unexpected attack on the very prominent New Republic women, it was still a mystery as to what had actually occurred. No amount of investigation could help shed light on to the day's occurrence.

The men and woman on the offensive team had been killed in defence. Terrik had been unable to collect identity holos off any of them and could not uncover it through his extensive network of friends. Only managing to discern that during the attack the men whom had managed to escape had kidnapped Shada. Well, solitary man. Average height and dark hair upon bronzed skin. An ordinary man, one that would have made Commander Page proud.

( A/N. Don't actually know what rank Page is at the moment so I'm making it up.)

Unbeknownst to anyone who was not already involved the attack had precipitated Shada's escape. Oh, that's not to say that the attack wasn't real, it was even directly connected to Karrde. However, it was the perfect cover for them to be able to spirit Shada away.

All that could be found was a headband. An embroided symbol, which was not unknown to the smugglers or the alliance personnel, charged with the investigation.

"Who are you?" Wondered Karrde aloud, anguish suffusing his voice. "Why do you want to destroy all I want, all that is mine?"

His voice echoed around the room, a room in which no one could see him or hear the pain he was feeling. He was a private man and even in the time of great adversity he would not succumb to showing it physically to those around him.

He had spent a full day questioning the woman whom had come back from the attack. Even let them refuse medical attention for a time so that they could explain that they had lost her…  
Although. He could not speak for all the women in the group he knew that neither Mara nor Mirax would lie to him about something as important as this.  
_Their friendship with Shada is greater then anything he knew so they would do everything in their power to help her. _

The woman he though he could love, even began to acknowledge that fact was gone. He had not fixed their friendship, he had hope that feigning ignorance to the tension would give the woman time to cool off and re-evaluate what had truly happened.

**Ten days later.**

A profound shock swept over him as a woman matching Shada's description had been found. Well, her remains anyway. It seemed that she had been thrown into a rancor pit on Tatooine and had not come back out again.

He did not tell the others. Not his crew or the women he called friends. Shada called friends too. Forcing Ghent, who had found the report to swear upon his loyalty to him and keep his mouth shut about it. Something he felt the younger man would do out of respect for the man he viewed as his father.

The New Republic had given up on their search for Shada out of necessity however; the crew aboard the _Wild Karrde_ had not. They continued the search for the woman who had become an integral part of their lives.

Her friends continued their search also.  
_We will find her. We must. The woman will not betray me. If they find her first I will know about it….  
_

**Ok there we go... the newest post... let me know what you think.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I'm sorry this is so late. Hopefully the content will make up for that fact.**

Chapter 10 

Morale had hit an all time low aboard the _Wild Karrde; _Karrde himself had become almost tyrannical in the search for the person whose intent seemed to be to bring him down.

In the process, he accepted more and more help from Justine as she continued to comfort her boss on the loss of his newest second in command.

Most of the crew had become too weary to complain that such an unsuitable woman, a person Shada had truly hated, replaced her in her responsibilities.

She had become more insufferable and under the guise of a concerned friend, she revelled in the loss of the only obstacle that had previously stood in her way.

Her perseverance had helped her win the freedom of her younger siblings and now knowing that she herself would never been able to free herself, still worked to free her older sister so filled with vengeance and deceit.

_I'm not a good person, _She thought. _But I will not let him destroy him destroy them as he destroyed me. They're family I can't, I won't._

Her superior wanted to bring down Karrde and although she was beginning to genuinely care for the man, she would carry out her orders.

Knowing she had to sneak out on their next groundside mission raised goose bumps on her arms. Security had been greatly heightened since the disappearance of the second in command.

_Heehee, _She thought. _She got what she had coming to her. Imagine a former Mistral guard caught unaware and thrown into a rancor pit._

She kept her mouth shut knowing it would only raise suspicions about her part in Shada's death. The conspiracy of the people they all cared for.

What she had not counted on was the tenacity of a young slicer .Well he had become the youngest Chief Crypt of the NRI. He still worked for Karrde on occasion and treated the man as a father. Loving him so as well.

Ghent had not broken his mentors confidence by revealing his suspicions to everyone. Though he had wanted desperately to tell Aves, Dankin and Mara.

_She's not dead._ He yelled at himself unconvincingly. _She just can't be…_

He hated Justine with a passion , hated her for all she had gained with Shada's disappearance . Didn't for a second believe in her innocence. He knew Shada was not dead . What he had not told Karrde was the secondary report from a sludge news reporter, a missing woman named Stephanie Mercer was who he truly believed the woman to be.

So he did was he was best at, he kept digging and found out about the witches family. The family she was so reticent about. For someone as boastful she was surprisingly quirt about her immediate family. All were in a boarding school except her elder sister who worked for a man he didn't know.

He had gone as far as to recruit both Mara and Mirax into helping him. _They hate her as much as I do._ Everyone reported her doings to him and he in turn tried to piece together the puzzle that was Justine

The group resolved to follow her on her next unscheduled detour. Hoping to find evidence that would somehow incarcerate her.

Never wanting to find anything to absolve her from blame.

The streets of Corellia were a network of legitimate and underground enterprises . Both of which Justine visited.

She zigzagged across streets , under a bridge and met with a number of known associates. Adding credibility to their encounters. They spent the day and well into the night following her seemingly for nothing.

Yet, just as they were giving up hope and were preparing to go home she went into a public fresher and came out with a disguise. A significant change of appearance.

The girl next door had turned into a sex kitten in 20 minutes flat.

The men disappeared into the only club she had access to leaving the women to trail behind her.

"Tina Andrews." The bouncer repeated after looking at her identification holo. "Welcome Hun he's waiting for you in the usual room."

Smiling sexily she thanked the man and walked inside.

"Oh my Kriff!" Exclaimed Mara." Look at who she's with Aves!"

"Dammit!" came his reply. "I had kinda hoped she was just an irritating pile of sithspawn. But Kriff, she really is double dealing. She has to be."

"I recognise him form my dealings with the Corellian underworld." Muttered Mirax. "But what has that got to do with Karrde?"

It was Dankin who answered her to everyone's surprise, "The only man whose ever come close to destroying Karrde."

"Isn't that Tobin Keller?" Asked Ghent. Though it was mostly rhetorical. " He thought Karrde was his father, Karrde denied it, and it turned out his mother was raped."

"That's the one Ghent." Replied Mara. "His slicing skills are rival to yours my boy. He found out his father was an enemy and defected. His father, turned on him then disappeared. If he's back he's certain to have something to do with all the trouble Karrde's been having." Leaving the rest unsaid…

"

We should tell Karrde." Said Mirax. "We all loved Shada but something has to snap him out of the mood he's been in."

"He'll move on." Mentioned Aves. 2I just hope we do find her someday. I don't know he'll truly get over it without closure. He was at least half in love with her. Maybe more…"

"Lets just hope this Kenner man doesn't succeed in his path." They all said in one way or another before reboarding the ship.

Each person dreading the reaction of Talon Karrde though in different ways.

As always read and review. Hope you enjoy


	14. Chapter 14

bAm back online again! Post has ensued. Yippee I'm back/b

bThe Queen and The Karrde/b

colorblueChapter 11./color

b9 years later/b.

"Wiara Taylor! Get back in here now!" Yelled, Kestrel Taylor.

The young girl skidded to a Holt and turned with a moan, "But mama I was just going to get Mikey so I could practice."

"I don't care young lady. I asked you to put the equipment away. Have you done that yet sweetie?"

"Well no… But mama I've got a swim practice with Mikey tonight I told you yesterday."

"The studio doesn't run its self and you know full well Mikey will wonder in for dinner long before you leave anyway."

Michael Tobin was the son of her fiancé Evan. She had actually met Evan after teaching his son the fighting arts. The neighborhood was quite poor and the kids needed a way to stay out of trouble. Her studio did that and more, giving the troubled youths a place to go, someone to believe in them and a relatively safe way to work out any frustrations they might have. These reasons were good enough for her to never mind the Constance of children in her private space.

8 and half years ago she had given birth. After opening her heart to her infant daughter she had opened her heart and home to the kids and adults who she now called family.

She mostly taught the children discipline and how to defend themselves. Her maternal instincts had kicked into high gear and it showed in her every manner and dealing.

She had become a completely different person then the misfit who had been desperate to be accepted. An unwed pregnant woman, mistrustful of all whom had chosen to run to an outer rim world called Synea.

Her daughter was still moaning about the unfairness of being young, knowing that she would have to do as she was told. Wiara paused only to look for the boy who was soon to become her brother. Well step brother but they were the same thing to her anyway.

As far as she was concerned Michael Tobin was already her brother. He protected her and let her hang out with him. Something most fourteen year old big kids wouldn't do.

He wasn't there but as her mama had said she knew he truly would wait for her, come for dinner, just like he always did.

Kestrel smiled as she watched her daughter pause at the kitchen door only once. Five minutes later then the bright young boy she practically hero-worshipped.

Her intimate relationship with the boy had started out as a favour to the boy. A mother child day at school to her great honour he had asked her to attend.

Chuckling, she remembered his father storming into her domain hackles raised, ready to protect his son, only to find the best intentions within her acceptance.

Evan she knew was over a decade older then her, yet he had wormed his way into her heart broken as it had been. She loved him as a friend; she truly believed she could grow to love him as something more as time went by. Learn to love him the same way she had only once before.

He wasn't devastatingly handsome; his light brown hair was liberally threaded with grey. Yet his brown eyes sparkled with mischief drawing you into a heart warming charismatic personality.

Kestrel knew he loved her as more then just a friend. He also loved her daughter and Wiara loved him back. Just as she had fallen in love with his son, Michael had become e her. She looked forward to the day she would really become the mama to him that he insisted on calling her. Legally speaking as she already thought of him as her son.

Shaking her head, coming back to reality, she smiled greeting the young man that had interrupted her musings. He was already setting the table, such a good boy.

"Wia will be here any minute Mikey. "She commentated with a laugh in her voice. Having seen the boy's eager expression. Seeing the new look on his face she interrupted him, "if you ask me if you can stay for dinner one more time son I'll smack you one. This is your house too help yourself."

Grinning at her now he said, "so you making my lil' sis pull clean up duty again. What did she do this time?"

"Nothing Major this time. She poured paint onto Mrs. Patterson's twins. Told me they insulted her and she didn't like it." Answering truthfully, vowing to keep lies to a minimum with her little boy.

"Well, they deserved it then mama, No one has the right to put someone down. You taught me that."

Giving the girl who had walked in the last minute a stern look she softened her blow with softer words." Wiara, I know you love me too but there is no excuse for that child to go looking for revenge. I taught you that too. Justice is not the same."

"Listen to your mama sweet pea. She's right." When Kestrel turned her back he smiled at Wiara and added in an undertone, "Besides if they'd have said it to me it wouldn't have been paint thrown."

Wiara smiled up at her best friend adoringly laughing. She then hugged him and turned to embrace her mama too.

"I'm sorry mama, I love you."

"I love you to baby girl." Kestrel replied misty eyed.

Just then the timer on the food unit went off. She smiled at them and beckoned them to the table, ready to feed her cubs like a mama bear in the woods.

Her domestic skills had become so improved over the last nine years that even she was proud of herself. Something she had rarely been in her past life.

Wiara and Michael were at their swim meet. A survival skill she deemed necessary for her children. Thought rife with survival she towed out her holo projector logging on to the holonet. Searching for anything, restricted and unrestricted that would alert her to abnormalities in the smugglers alliance.

A pastime she had kept up with over the past nine years. Another necessity she had deemed for the survival of the family she had created for herself.

A few stray tears fell down her face. Cursing at herself as she had sworn, "I will get over you one day. I lost so much but I have gained even more."


	15. Chapter 15

Darth Exams are nearly over with so I figured I'd grace myself with another chapter.

Chapter 14.

After yet another pointless argument Ghent had finally managed to convince Karrde to trust their young contact in Synea. The meet was to be scheduled within days of his acceptance.

Their contact was little more then a child, a distraught boy intent on protecting his mama and baby sister. Although through numerous slices and information exchanges he had discovered that this was not entirely true; the boys mother and sister were not yet legally relatives, although he realised that like Karrde was a father to him they might well just be his family.

The boy's future mother was beautiful in the holo he had sent; no picture of the sister but it had been enough. Tears he had sworn not to cry again had emerged as he saw Shada in her. Too many times now he had looked at a woman and seen Shada, someone he had hoped would become a mother to him too.

Cursed his own stupidity knowing that she was not his Shada that was until both Mirax and Mara had almost freaked upon seeing the name. The picture though they had viewed nonchalantly had not been enough to ease his newly found suspicions.

Ghent truly hoped for Karrde's sake that there was truth of Shada's identity within their combined reactions, as it would offer him the closure he had sought for so long. Yet, he didn't actually let himself believe, as he knew that statistically the odds were so low that it had probably just been his imagination. He just missed her so much that he saw guilt where there was none to be found.

Weeks of battling with himself and Karrde meant they were finally going to go after the last known whereabouts of Tobias Keller. The man who had been intent on destroying Karrde, not knowing that with the disappearance of Shada he had succeeded; Keller a man whom they both hated.

Although during that time he had also given up the ridiculous theory that the woman was in fact Shada and told no one about it for fear that someone else would hurt again.

Unsurprisingly, Mirax and Mara had both invited themselves onto the mission, insisting they were better suited for the type of reconnaissance mission then the others Karrde had chosen in their place. Having also concocted a story about maternal instinct for the boy, or something along those lines with a little Jedi and smuggler instinct thrown in, they had finally worn him Karrde down and so had been allowed to go.

Karrde sat in the mess hall and spoke to no one but the woman and Ghent in the hopes of finding out and resolving whatever conflict had arisen between the three. Suspicion he hoped was unfounded clawed at him as he had known Mirax had visited the Synean planetary system not a full month ago and had not heard of the troubles that according to their contact had been established long before. Stopped and made allowances in his mind for his long time friend after all she had only been there for a short time to dispense an artefact and not to visit the planets within the system.

What he didn't know was that Mirax and Mara had actually confirmed Ghent's story a few days before and were now forcing him into silence. Mara would tell Karrde about Shada but only when she felt the time was right.

Their contact he knew would be bringing his younger sister the daughter of the woman

Who was supposedly associated with Tobin Keller, the name he was using now, his worst enemy and the father of the boy, who seemed intent on bringing his father to justice.

Speaking to the youth who didn't seem to be older then about 12 or 13 had evoked sympathy and compassion from the hardened cynic he knew he had become. It was almost unheard of fro a smuggler of his stature to show pity or remorse and here he was doing just that, Terrik was still finding ways to needle him about it.

Although in his defence the entire crew seemed to be showing similar feelings towards the boy destroyed by his hatred of a man whom he should have loved unconditionally. A vengeance he hoped would not destroy everything and everyone in its wake. Though whose vengeance he thought of even he didn't know.

Mikey was literally shaking from fear, anger, pain and other emotions he refused to name. He was betraying his father and his father's blinding need for vengeance. He loved Kestrel and Wiara too much to let them get hurt or killed in the crossfire. Through overhearing his father he had learnt that Kestrel was a woman who had once been known as Shada D'Ukal but it didn't matter to him what name she was using he loved her like a mother. Kezzie had welcomed him into her family and treated him as if he were her own child displaying a love he had only seen his father pretend to maintain,

Kestrel didn't know it was his father who had beaten him countless times never knew that he was the real reason she had lost all she had once been. Had given him a sister he loved with all his heart.

Looking at the man he could see some of Wiara in him and wondered at the wisdom of bringing her to meet the man he was sure was her father.

Wiara had only seen him in passing and had not paid attention to him; preferring to beg Michael for an ice cream and supervision time to play in the children's play ground.

Not wanting to hurt Kestrel more he knew he would have to keep Wia occupied and away whilst the deal went down. He had needed her to help his cover so his father would not become suspicious. Yet, in typical Wiara Taylor fashion she had to find out what was happening and had snuck back rejoining him, although thankfully he had finished relaying the Intel he had promised the smugglers. Looking at her quickly he needed to get her away so he addressed her, "Wiara, kochanie, we need to go home now." Wiara being whom she was shrugged and issued a blinding grin at Ghent and Karrde a grin that was almost an exact replica of her mothers.

A grin that made Talon Karrde's smile falter as he promised to verify the information before bidding them a farewell.

Ghent had seen Karrde's smile falter at the young girl's smile so reminiscent of Shada's that even he knowing who she was had tensed. He was till angry at Mirax and Mara who had even as they had confirmed his story glossed over the fact that the child Shada claimed was actually her own, perhaps they had simply not known.

_Nah_, he thought to himself. _Of course they had known. I wonder whose child it is?_

He went in search of the women hoping he would get his answer.

Meanwhile Michael was fielding questions from Wiara who had not believed him when he had lied and told her the deal really meant nothing important. Finally managing to get her to believe that the men had been guest speakers at the school who had asked after some local information. Something he hoped she would find as to mundane to tell her mother.

"He was nice." She told him, "They reminded me of a holo mama showed me once, the old man and then ancient one. Funny huh!"

Chuckling at her choice of words Michael simply told her she was mistaken having seen the holo she spoke of himself and took her home. Bounding in excitement from something she didn't understand the normally perceptive child managed to miss the sadness her best friend and brother was projecting.

A t the same time Talon Karrde lay on his bed reminiscing about times where he had seen almost the exact same smile, on the woman he loved. Had smiled at him the same way the one night they had had together so may years before. Before his life had gone to hell.

Never once entertaining the idea that the familiarity the girl had inspired in him was because she was the daughter of Shada, Simply, simultaneously, enjoying and hating the memories playing in his head.

A little while later Ghent stood hands on hips shaking with fury as he faced down both Mirax and Mara unflinchingly. Women whom he had thought had called Karrde friend and family. However, the sight had been occurring increasingly often of late so most of the staff had cleared out of the way leaving them almost alone.

"How could you fail to mention that Shada had had a child?"

"Calm down Ghent." Implored Mara. "For force sake listen we were protecting another friend, she needed it or she would have probably wound up dead or worse. We did what we thought was best at the time."

"No Mara! You betrayed your best friends and for what?" Raged Ghent.

"Enough, that's enough both of you. Zak, Shada wanted to disappear needed to so we helped her do it. She believed Karrde wasn't serious about her and it was too late to do anything about it. Believe me it was for the best." Tried Mirax. Though the words sounded hollow even to her.

"Too late? Too late? If you had switched on your brains then it wouldn't have got this far." Snapped Ghent at her. "How dare you watch him suffer for nothing! How dare you keep Shada from him from all of us!"

So intent in their argument all three participants failed to realise that the man in question had been walking past and had been listening to the latter end of Ghent's rant.

Slamming into the room in a manner uncharacteristic for him he demanded an explanation. A fierce ache built in his heart as he observed the truth on his family's face. Betrayal turned into anger and pain so fierce he was driven to his knees tears forming behind his eyes.

All Mara, Mirax and even Ghent could do was apologise to him which was a futile gesture.

He looked up and saw something he had not seen in over a decade. Mara was crying and begging him to listen to her. "Please listen we did it to protect you both. Please just listen I love you."

So out of love for the three he did…

When Mara, Mirax and to a lesser extent Ghent was done he finally understood the motivation behind the deception. Anger dissipated slightly but betrayal and pain remained. He recognised the impossible situation had been in but could not accept that it was the only way. The anger he felt had lessened at them but increased at him.

So did it make up for the exam absence. Oh and shameless plugging but please check out my newest viggie. linkLonging for you./link

It's about Winter and Tycho.


	16. Chapter 16

**The Queen and the Karrde? Chapter 15.**

The lights were low within the confines of the Taylor centre; only two inhabitants were awake and both were careful about disturbing each other. It was laughable really, Evan not wanting to wake Shada after a hard day of work and vice versa.

He slipped into her bed quietly and thought thankfully that she only stirred and did not wake. Believing her asleep he allowed himself the infrequent luxury of deep disgust. He merely thought her a whore really, a nameless nobody who could deliver him his greatest act of vengeance to date. An act of vengeance though she would commit unwittingly, was still against a man whom she still loved, pity, she would make a fine addition to his creations. Chuckling to him self now, although not entirely unkindly, he placed his arm around her in a light embrace and plotted as to his next movements, enjoyed the desire of what he knew was to come. 

Karrde will die of shame when he finds out that Shada had strayed all those years ago. He'll assume Wiara is mine and he will know pain beyond belief. The pain of the greatest betrayal to a man in love and a brilliant victory for me. The thought inspired the more sinister laugh he was rarely heard delivering.

Shada lay unmoving still beside him but could not suppress the chill travelling down her spine. The laugh had almost been foreshadowing, ominous. Turning, she secured his grip in hers as if in sleep and imagined the laugh again, tired.

Something was obviously wrong. She didn't yet know what it was but Evan's behaviour of late had become disturbingly malevolent. She knew she herself had not been the same since Myra's visit and yet the sense of impending doom did not fade. Laughingly thinking, I have a bad feeling about this! A phrase she had often heard used by the skywalker/ Solo clan and then she laughed softly again, I sound like threepio…

Sometime later sleep had still not claimed her and her thoughts had turned inward in preparation of what she knew was to come. She would have to lie to him about Wiara, even though she knew there was so much of him in her beloved baby girl.

I hate this already. I hate this already. She thought fiercely, I haven't even started lying yet and already I feel guilty. Stop! Think! He never wanted you Shada and he would have taken Wiara away. There is nothing to feel guilty about I protected myself, my child; especially myself.

Even her thoughts trailed off in a fit of guilt something inside her rebelling against lying to Wia's father, keeping him from his daughter, keeping her daughter a secret.

By that point she had forgotten her fears pertaining to Evan and his erratic behaviour. Snuggling against him she missed the pained look he made in sleep at touching her.

The next day dawned and once again Shada was in her home, teaching children. However, today she had felt the need to keep both Wiara and Michael close to her at least for the morning. They all played a game of fan toss, a small transparisteel blade threaded through the material at each parting. It could cut or bind together to from a baton 9" in length and as it was quite heavy, deliver a crushing blow. A deception in beauty, a weapon, something she had once been and now taught her daughter and son though to a lesser extent.

Shada made sure all her female students could wield the fan with deadly precision should a situation arise where it was the only weapon readily available to them. Not to mention the intricate embroidery of each covering material that would look spectacular against an equally beautiful gown. Wiara although only eight years old (eight and a half if you asked her) could handle the blade without much difficulty frequently joined in the adult game. Generally though it was woman alone she taught to use the fan, Michael was the exception. Well he was her little boy after all, he could not been under valued, must be protected from anything thing harming him.

Yet for reasons, different though they all were, known only to themselves they were distracted and Wiara managed to catch the fan blade side up slicing her hand open a couple of inches. Amidst the rarely heard sobs her daughter was making Shada panicked, blood pouring down her little girls arm.

Michael bless him took charge of both females bandaging Wiara's hand with a bacta patch, making Kestrel a cup of stim tea, and offering to take Wia to the local med centre for a check whilst Shada opened the centre for the day.

Grateful for his quick thinking and annoyed at her own reaction she sipped at her hot drink and calmed, going to clean up after the accident. Twenty minutes later she would have a grade 5 group of eleven year olds form the only school they had for miles. Today's lesson was to ward off an attacker whom although unarmed, is bigger, and stronger, slowly she weaned her students into bigger challenges…

Pride filled her as she thought of how much the children had come to accomplish over the years under her tutelage. All who came had helped her rebuild her life when she had been sure it was lost.

For the next two hours she forgot all about her troubles as the chaos overran her mind and centre, in other words 25 children showering and all wanting to go home. It was there only half day so most parents chose to collect there children directly from her lesson. Half an hour after that she received a holo call from Mikey that he was taking Wiara out to lunch, to cheer her up. Chuckling now, she thought back to the conversation they had had. "She's really milking it for all she's worth then?" she said half rhetorically to her Mikey.

"Yep, but I can't resist that face she looks like a baby angel!" replied Michael in a wry and resigned voice.

"Alright, Just make sure she's back in time to meet with the aunts." She replied seriously for it would not do for her to be late.

The aunts were two elderly ladies who occasionally babysat Wia for her. Michael for Evan too except lately he had protested about being too old for it to continue. Too old to be treated like a child, though in fact he still was one, innocent, unmarred.

Kestrel, well Shada then at least to them, would forever be grateful for the hospitality they had shown her, especially after the birth of her daughter. She had actually named the children for them in a manner of speaking, for it was the same faith they had had in her that had kept her alive against the odds. The birth had been incredibly difficult and she would not have survived otherwise, Wia either really.

A renewed sense of self preservation, well familial preservation, ignited a deep routed anger within her. After coming so close to losing her family a second time she wanted to make sure it was not a possibility again. She would not allow herself to be threatened in the same way again.

If she came face to face with Karrde she would simply tell him to leave and that he was never to be welcomed into her home again. His life completely separate from the one she had made for herself and her family. Aves, Ghent, Dankin and the others would be limited in how much they saw her daughter as they may recognise the truth of the paternity in her little girl. She knew they would tell him and until her marriage to Evan he may have a chance at gaining custody of her life. Although, she had previously had second thoughts about marrying Evan , as it was not a love match, it would not be fair to anyone if there family was separated, and so she would do it. Her decision made she finally made the call she had been dreading, telling her aunts all the trouble they were likely to face now.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 16.

He woke to a feeling he had been feeling frequently as of late, helplessness, anger and grief although it was the grief that he didn`t understand. The feeling had only been magnified by the appearance of the little girl and he had yet to identify why. He could clearly see her resembelance to Shada but could neither tell her age nor her paternity from their previous meeting, something he was curious to know, for the sake of knowledge of course.

It seemed that Shada had moved on quickly and without thought to the consequence of leaving the people who loved her behind. Anger flared within him leaving a burning fire through his gut if she could move on then so could he! It was then he thought of Justine and her betrayal. It had shook the foundations of his entire organisation as although she had not officially replaced Shada in her status as second in command she had taken most of the responsibility as her own, coming incredibly close to taking the place of the woman he had loved. Having dealt with her accordingly the void of Shada`s dissapearnace had once again opened within him and most of his crew.

The holo beeped, breaking into his reverie, Booster Terrik was getting back to him with the verification of the authenticity of the informatio young Michael Tobin had supplied him with. His friendship with the man whom he had called his best friend was strained at best. He had understood that Booster had helped her with not mush choicehowever it had hurt more then he could believe to see his best friend lie to him after everything he had seen him go through.

At first he had not gone to him as a confidante but he had done so had told him he knew she had begun moving on at that point and felt that if Karrde had gone after her then that it would have been too much for him to have borne. It had simply become too complicated to tell the truth and yet at the same time harder to maintain the deception.

He hated himself for the feeling and would not reach out to Booster any more then the other man would to it wasn`t for Mara and Mirax there friendship may have fallen apart.

Anyway... the information he needed gained he set about contacting the young man whom was intent to protect the woman he had once loved.

He had chosen not to take either woman with him to meet his informant as they would put him at ease. It was useful to intimidate certain people in his line of work., it had nothing to do with not wanting to see them interacting as a family that he could and would not ever be a part of. Neither Mara nor Mirax protested this prefering to suggest he take Ghent with him as he had done before. He smiled briefly as he thought of the man whose protectiveness of him marked him as a son and not just a former employee. It was now he began to see the family he had around him, ironically though the epiphany had come to him in the wake of seeing another family, one that once might have been his.

Although it seems his efforts had been wasted as the child had known his information was true if not entirely verifiableand his attitude reflected it. He did not knoe Karrde as the biggest infromation broker in the galaxy and therefore showed no sense of awe, he only saw a man who could save his mother, at a distance of course. His only major breakthrough at unsettling the boy had come at the hands of an innocent question if there was such a thing. He had asked about the whereabouts of Shada. The answer had come from Wiara, whose hackles had been raised suffciently enough to let it slip. Although Michael had informed him tartly that his mother`s name was Kestrel not Shada.

And so here he was following the defiant words of a girl coerced into giving up the location of the perosn she loved most in the world.

Gazing up into the building he saw a beautiful design that encumpassed a bunch of dahlia`s with intricately drawn weaponry. A tribute to all that was beautiful but deadly. A pang of regret shot through him when he glimpsed the name Taylor.

He dared not call her first as he sensed that she would not admit him. He helped himself to the Synean hospitality which, needed no locked doors, something he would take advantage of now.

It was eerily quiet and empty as he stepped inside as if it was not used to being so. The simple designs of the entrance hall and open studios reminded him of the quaters Shada had claimed as her own aboard the _Wild Karrde_. He saw no one inside so he called out once firmly, "Shada."

No answer was forthcoming so he tried again, "Shada i know you are here, come out we need to talk." After several minutes of calling the same thing whilst wondering deeper into the halls he tried calling out, "Kestrel?"

Only to be blocked by Michael whom had come back having suspected that Karrde would come here. Barring his way the child stood with a fan that he tossed casually between his hands. In oppsosition to the delicate beauty he held in his hands his therat seemed almost disgusting. "She is not here! Leave my mother alone, you are not welcome in this house!" Karrde tried to move past him only to have the fan flash towards him leaving a trail of bllod behing which he later identified as his own. A wound that would have been fatl had the child been trying to do more then prove a point. He was the sent home with the transport the youngling had come to the centre in without paying the man driving.

Shada having heard the exchange burrowed deeper under her covers tears spilling out onto her pillow, shame and snguish playing equal parts in her misery. Michael came in and lay down next to her offering her a cautious comfort and asking for no explanation in return.

Meanwhile Karrde`s wound was bandaged and he had come to the conclusion that she had been there as the boy would not have been so aggresisve otherwise. He wondered at the mental state of the woman if she felt the need to hide from him. Perhaps he had been wrong in thinking she was completely indifferent to there arrival as he had previously thought... and now the sedative the doctor had given him sent hi into the dreamless oblivion of the heavily drugged.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 17.**

She awoke to the movements of Michael for he had stayed with her the night through. She supposed it was time to tell him and Wiara the whole truth and yet after all the lies she had told and maintained she just didn't want to lose the trust they had in her. She did not want to dwell on the fact that it would also mean she had to face up to making everything she had done and all the choices she had made, they would become the truth again. It had been hard enough to live through it the first time… she truly didn't know if she would survive going through it a second.  
Evan must have come home and slept in Michael's bed He loves me1 He does and I need the claim, but oh sith she may want to go with him, like it there and want to stay, I know I did!  
She had made yet another decision that night and knew she would have to move quickly and carefully to carry out her plan. Her family would stay together no matter what! She would make it so!  
First she woke Michael and Wiara and asked them to aid the older students with the day's classes telling the children only the basics of the story. Amidst the tears and the anger and pain she tried to explain her decisions away, rationally and calmly reminding the children how much she loved them periodically. In the end although they were upset they were reluctant to blame her and so an unspoken acceptance was garnered too.  
She told Evan that Wiara's biological father was on the planet and then explained the plan to him. He seemed hesitant at first but fear of losing his family ploughed him into action agreeing to the drastic measures she had proposed, or so he said.  
Planning a day out meant placing a call to the aunts, then a dress was bought and a couple of witnesses arranged. Fear made her tell no one, not even Wia or Mikey as she didn't want to have to involve them in what she was to do.

A few hours later she stood in the doorway of her centre once again strangely fearful of facing her children, oh she knew that they would be happy for her but she and Evan had both known they wanted to be part of the wedding. They had decided to continue ahead with the public wedding that had been arranged for friends and family however this time there was no fear of the past haunting their special day.

The ring she had chosen was tribute to her family , a simple white gold band with Gem stones that matched the eyes of her , Wiara's , Michael's and Evan's eyes. She looked down at it and waited. A few minutes later and she was still unable to move, until she heard the holophone ring; neither child made the move to pick up the phone and during dinner time the machine was left to pick it up no matter who was at the table. "Hi Kez, Myra here- you know who anyway. Karrde is on his way to see you, just thought you should know. So… while Mara and I are here we should meet. You know the number I love you, bye.

Pain sliced through her at the thought of seeing him again, each thought just another blade piercing her body and tearing her soul to shreds. Thoughts cascaded into each other the clearest that she could not love with the thought of Karrde telling her children before she would know. Panic forced her moves and so she called out, "Wiara? Michael? Kids you here, I have a big surprise for you1" They both came to her then forever in a moment though seconds had passed.  
"Surprise mama? Give me! Give me!" Her daughter chanted while her son stood quietly observing a change but not understanding what. It was the he saw the glimmer on her finger. "Mama! what? How? When?" Came his startled reply, eyes never wavering off the new addition to her hand. "The wedding's not for another few weeks." Now she saw Wiara get it too, her reaction different entirely, "You got married? Cool!"

"Married? Well yes Evan and I are we just couldn't wait for the wedding. We will still have it though and you will both be majorly important in your roles; Wia sweetie Michael's your brother for real now," answered Kestrel stalling her children for time.

Wiara looked scornful at this, "He always was mama just like Evan's my dad," her face displaying the full truth of her words. "It doesn't matter what happened I love you all. That karme man might be my father but you are my family!" She continued the sentiment by launching her self at both Michael and her simultaneously. Evan walked in and joined the hug before suggesting he take the children to the aunts for the night.

She was clearing away the dishes their dishes their dinner had garnered and taking out the clean laundry as the wash cycle had finished, singing softly to her self all the while, when she turned and suddenly stopped.

Both parties were unaware of being watched so stood staring at each other in ways neither would later admit too and in their own ways they did not have the words to use. Tension thickened the air and emotion escalated in ways that did the silence proud.

"Shada?" He began only to be stopped as her spine straightened and face went blank.  
"My name is Kestrel and you heard my son you are not welcome here."  
Too angry to care that she was telling him that she had been at the centre the other day and had heard their exchange.

So she had been here. He thought but did not voice it, he knew better then too, but did let the pain slice through him.  
"We were friends once," he commented.

"Things change, people change. I have a life now, a family, a legitimate life and you are not part of my life anymore. I don't want you here." She spat out in her defence, fully attacking the feelings his comment had evoked, voice full of venom and anger radiating off her in waves she would have continued had he not interrupted.

" It wasn't me who left Shada, it wasn't me who made it that way." Snapped Karrde his own temper flaring.

"How dare you!" she said through gritted teeth, throwing the basket in her hands at him.  
" After everything you did what gives you the right to judge me?"

"Please I'm sorry I didn't come here to argue, I've met your son he's a good boy."  
Ever the calm one he tried to placate her, having realised that her throwing a basket at him was as serious as it would have been had she a weapon on her person. It would have been a joke once but now… even he was not sure what it meant.

" Your daughter is beautiful too, she looks a lot like you," he added. "Her smile is yours."

"Thank you." She said having taken the calm emanating from him to soothe her own temper. "They're good kids and my husband is a fantastic father."

"You're married?" he asked in disbelief almost shocked into silence. "They said nothing about marriage." Although he was careful not to acknowledge the people he was referring too. A few moments passed as she gave him time to process the information she had thrown at him though not in anger. His thoughts grew more and more virulent until his brain demanded the question, " Evan's Wiara's father then?" The bluntness in which the question was asked shocked even him.

It sparked a fresh wave of anger mixing in with an unhealthy dose of fear, so with evasion garnered from practice, evident only to herself she answered, " Evan is the only father she has ever known. Now if you're finished I have things to do. She walked to the door as she dismissed the conversation, she reached the door and without stopping she turned away from him completely and shut the door to him.

He stood speechless on the porch unable to even move as grief tore through him. He had seen the importance of her gesture. She had now truly shut him out of her life but even so he was unable to completely let go of some of the euphoria he had felt at her being alive. Long moments passed before he could make a move to leave and even then it was only at a stagger.

Evan sighed in disgust as she had just as well as told Karrde that Wiara was his. He would have to adjust his plans if were not to fail. A sinister laugh escaped him at seeing the looks on Shada's and Karrde's faces; he knew he had better get home or the damn whore would become suspicious, he wondered at what lie she would tell him to explain away her mood.


	19. Chapter 19

TQTK 18.

A few weeks later Ghent had idly sliced into the database of holos kept by the local nursery and school and pulled the ones of Wiara and Michael in the various years to view their growth, prompted by what Karrde had told him about Wiara being Evan's daughter. The words she had used had said a lot but he now knew what she had not said although he chose not to tell Talon that now.

He could only feel anger towards her as he thought of how Shada had hurt Karrde, did she not realise he would not hurt her, at least not intentionally. He may have felt sympathy towards her if the attack she had launched had been provoked, though he told himself there was no bias in his thoughts only facts with a little feeling mixed in.  
Beep, beep, beep, came the display on his holocom. He had superimposed pictures of Wiara and Michael at the same age to determine whether his suspicions were correct and that Wiara was not Evan's as she had told Karrde.  
Talon walked in the door just as the photos had materialised and paled as he saw the holo of Wiara aged three. " Emperor's black bones she lied to me!" he choked out. "Look at her!" He told Ghent who himself had his eyes glued to the screen in shock. He had known the child could not have been Evan's but he had not realise she was Karrde's either. Yet, before Ghent could address him he turned and stormed from the room, he did not need to stand on ceremony with the younger man. Ghent went o to get Mirax and Mara and called Booster asking for his presence urgently but giving him no reason why.  
Karrde mindless with rage summoned a transport and headed towards the Taylor centre. The children were at school so she would either have an adult class or none at all. How could she betray me like this! He thought. How dare she keep this from me and then lie to me to my face about something so kriffing important. A child, he had an 8 and a half-year-old child that he had not known about.  
If she wanted to hurt me she didn't have to do it so cruelly. I hadn't planned on children but dammit how could she not tell him. What had he done to deserve it…I thought we were friends… something more…on and on circulated the venom tipped thoughts through his mind. Chaos raged an inner battle in his head and made him lose control in a way that only Shada had ever manage to evoke.  
The transport stopped and he paid the driver sending him on his way. This was going to be a conversation he did not want witnessed for no matter how angry he was at her this was her community and he had to respect that.  
As it turned out she had a class of teenagers from the local school when he showed up. Shock showed on her face for scant seconds, disappearing only to reappear as he turned to the youths and barked out. " Class dismissed. Go home now!"  
Most moved to comply but a few of the braver youths mad moves t step forward towards Kestrel, fearing for her but not understanding why. "It's alright children." She told them soothingly then turned to him and voice full of scorn addressed them to him. " You go on home now, Mr overstep his bounds in my authority and I have to talk."

When they left she added, "Starting with how dare you assume you have any authority in my life after everything that went down."  
"Don't you dare start on what's right. Just what do you believe is right about depriving a child of a father that would have loved her." He snapped the words a statement rather then the question it sounded like.  
Anger still rife she yelled back at him, " she has a father, Evan is the only father she has known and he loves her as I love Michael."  
"But she's not his!" He yelled back. " She's mine and you lied to me about it. You were pregnant and you left. You left me and our life." His words slowed as t6he anger turned into the anguished pain he truly felt.  
"I left because I was pregnant. Maybe you would have loved her but you'd have let that… get at her." She answered him softly but still angry. "You didn't love me and you always said you didn't want children what was I supposed to think: to do. I did what I thought was best. She is my daughter and Evan's too." She let her tears fall now, she had feared a conversation turn and yet recognised that he was partly right, she had known she was taking Wiara from her father. "What kind of life would she have had anyway with one of the most notorious smugglers in the galaxy as a father. She'd have had to lie about whom she was and never lead a normal life, a legitimate life. She has that here and a family that she loves as much as they love her. Please don't take that from her, she knows who you are if she wants to see you she will ask, I will not forbid her that."  
Her tears had wrenched at him where her words had not, they always would, but she was wrong and kindness would not work here. " Get her over for dinner tonight, you owe me that much." He added when she would have argued, he turned and walked away before she could refuse. Nothing had really been gained from the visit except for more anger though tempered with a smidgeon of understanding.

Evan had once again been listening in on the conversation and again he didn't feel it had gone to plan. She was going to give that son of a sith what he wanted. His plan was being ruined by that idiot whore's inability to stand up to the hutt slime she had run from. Rearing back he threw the wiring in his hand at the cavern wall then threw the chair at the screen to destroy the evidence he had been gathering. Go back to him will she. That no good whore will leave me for him! That will never happen, he vowed. He collected the bottle of sedatives he had obtained and dissolved them in his favourite wine and ordered Kestrel's favourite meal. He got dressed up deliberately and called her to do the same. She had blatantly been crying but she tried not to show it to him so he dutifully ignored it all the while revelling in her tears. He asked her to set the table whilst he gathered what they would need for the night and then called the aunts knowing they would agree to take both Michael and Wiara for the night. He eaves dropped as Shada called Karrde and left a message on his holocom saying that Wiara was indisposed for the night but would give her daughter the choice to go to him the next evening. He picked up the holocom as she spoke to tell her that he disagreed just to be pulled away by Mirax who proceeded to throw him out of the room and spoke to her best friend in private. "So… the wedding still on?" She asked meaning the public wedding they had originally planned.  
"Of course it is I want my friends there of course I do. I'm sorry I did it the way I did but at least you won't have to lie to anyone anymore. You can even bring all the kids between you now, at least if it won't upset Karrde." She told her, they were all friends with both her and him.  
"It doesn't matter Kez you're both my friends, that won't ever change he will have to understand. Speaking of changing. What's with the dress? I mean you look gorgeous in it but it usually takes an act of the universe to get you into one."  
"Ev's organised a special night for us, kriff but I'm nervous. It's been such a long time since we were both alone together with no interruptions. I really think I've fallen in love with him. Time together was all this marriage needed it's really going to work out alright Myra. I truly believe it will."  
"That's really good Kezzie you know we only want you to be happy, and that's spoken on behalf of us all."  
"I'm sorry Myra, Evan's pulling coming back downstairs I really need to go. I love you!"  
"I love you too my friend." Mirax said to her bidding her a good night. She was mindful of the fact that Karrde would have been listening and would probably need some comforting of his own.

Meanwhile at the Taylor-Tobin household Kestrel sat waiting for the dinner to warm drinking her second glass of wine, strangely tranquil though she assumed that is the effect that marriage had had on her. She waited and watched as her husband prepare the dinner with a smile on her face, she watched until her eyes began to slide out of focus she thought to ask Evan for help but he was already approaching her. "Hmm good at least this plan will work." He said, " for what it's worth I never meant it to go this far. Stupid whore but you aren't worth enough to me alive, it'll hurt that bastard more if you're not. Dead you might just make a difference in his life. Goodbye love, I'll see you and Karrde in hell."  
With those words coursing through her head she passed out understanding only that it had something to do with Karrde. Barely feeling the pain that each blow accompanying each word had garnered. She had become a patchwork of wounds and bruises and this made him unable to stand her presence any longer so he continued kicking her until she was out of the door. He chained her to the wall in her own studio, to her own training tools and the wall she loved most as it contained the children's and her attempt at a mystral style painting. Fixing the holocam in place he began to methodically set the place on fire. He left a message for all the people involved. " Burn in hell Karrde and join your whore, but know this it was to me she belonged. Wia honey, I love you but it's for the best and Michael, my son know that it is your treachery that sent her there."  
And with his last act of vengeance against Talon Karrde the man he hated and his son Michael who had betrayed him, he disappeared. The whore's idea of parenting had made their children soft, he would have to rectify that immediately when he came to get them no matter how drastic the measure he would have to employ. He sent a delayed copy of the recording to the Wild Karrde a recording his children would also receive. Lesson one in their new life.


	20. Chapter 20

TQTK 19.

At the aunts house things were not going great, it was now bedtime but Michael, aunt Elena and aunt Natalya were at their wits end. Wiara just would not cooperate, she did not want to eat, bathe and now sleep. The usually sweet natured child's latest demand came in the form of Wesy Kettch, a toy ewok Valin Horn had given her telling her stories from his uncle Wes. She couldn't seem to explain what was wrong but her actions made it clear that there was something bothering her majorly. She said she hurt but when asked where she answered everywhere and they could not make out what was wrong. In a last ditch attempt to make the little girl feel better the aunts agreed to take them home to say goodnight. It was clear Wiara needed her mama more then anything else and so there was nothing left to do but to honour her wish, Evan would understand.  
15 minutes later they pulled up by the house helplessly crying and screaming in terror. The centre was on fire and neither Kestrel nor Evan was in view.  
Fear invaded every fibre of an eight year-old girl's body as she began to run towards her home only to be pulled back by her brother. " Send up the fire alert and aunt Nat we need help. Take Wia I'm going to get mama out."  
"Don't forget about dad Mikey, " sobbed Wiara.  
Grabbing a blanket from the pile in the shed outside he wet it and ran into the centre yelling over the flames, alternating between mama and Kestrel, his father unimportant.  
Again and again he screamed for her to no avail. The smoke had now become too thick to visually search for her either. Cough after cough racked his body as he fought for oxygen, he knew he needed fresh air but that would mean going outside and he would not leave without his mother. Too worried and sick to notice the other peoples screams for him jolting only when his aunt Mara tapped him on the shoulder and handed him an oxygen canister. She gestured for him to go outside to which he refused only to have her speak in his mind that her Jedi abilities would find his mum but that his presence would hinder her progress. Thus making him go for fear of the woman he saw as a mother. He passed Talon Karrde on the way out who ushered him to safety outside and threw him to the ground to extinguish the flames climbing up his body, flames he had somehow not felt when he was inside.  
Pain he had previously not felt made him curl up in pain and cry out. For the second time in as many minutes Wiara had to be restrained although this time it was to stop her getting to her brother. Mirax held her as she screamed her own pain; physical and her mind made her aware of what was occurring.  
It turned out that Ghent had intercepted the fire alert before it had reached the fire station and had consequently sent all Shada's friends running to her. 5 excruciatingly painful and slow minutes passed as the aunts made the doctors check out Michael's wounds but when they said he would need to visit the med centre they let him stay and wait for his aunt and mother. The hope they had felt turned to despair as the fire fighters seemingly lost control of the blaze and the flames shot higher.

Another minute passed… and then another… and then another…and then there was Mara carrying a blanket clad figure over her shoulder, though whether it had been an act of loving strength or Jedi abilities no one would ever know. Kestrel was severely burnt and obviously beaten, unconscious but alive.  
"Mama? Mama? Aunt Elena? Why won't she wake up?" Came the broken plea of a little girl who feared both for her mother, brother and father, her family. The people she loved.  
They sat in the waiting room wearing identical bleak expressions. Michael who blamed himself, Wiara who was inconsolable, both barely aware of the half-hearted attempts at comfort the aunts were bestowing upon the children. Mara's and Mirax's words went unheard as they all waited praying that what they all feared would not come to pass.

Karrde sat away from the family, as they had not wanted him there with an almost broken expression on his face though they were not interested in his pain, not even Mirax and Mara. The aunts and children glared at him and Ghent who stood behind him motionlessly making it clear that they were not welcome there, but that they would keep quiet as to not alarm the children more.  
To make the worst day more so a representative from social services had come to see about the children, only to be told, "Wiara is mine, she will come with me." The words came from Karrde whose temper had unravelled alongside his worry. This was met with both children and the two elderly aunts yelling, "this man has nothing to do with the children, and they are Kestrel's."  
He opened his mouth to protest only to be drowned out by Natalya, "If she were yours then where were you when my son ripped her from Kez's stomach in the middle of nowhere to save them both? Where have you been everyday since?" Turning to social services representative she continued. "We will take the children until Kestrel is herself or when Evan is found." Karrde was too shocked with the ladies outbursts that he did not think to protest again but reached out to Wiara who pushed him away.  
"I'm going with Mikey! He's my family, mama will come for us soon and is daddy is ok he will too. You'll see, you all will." Said the girl seriously. Dismissing the man who sought to upset her life even more.  
To Karrde that was the harshest blow of all. Then the doctor came out of the surgery room grim faced and all their anger dissipated into panic as they waited for the news they didn't want to hear.


	21. Chapter 21

Tqtk Epilogue:

5 months later Booster Terrik gave her an apartment on Coruscant. Shada or Kestrel as she was still known was bed bound but home form the med centre at long last. She was unable to walk and had great difficulty with mobility. Her two children the only bright spots in her life and the only thing that made her force herself up everyday and into rehab.  
Her friends came to visit her often helping the aunts help her with her children and doing all they could for her but still crying silent tears for her when she could not see.  
Talon Karrde had been surprisingly patient and was advancing to the position of friend as he slowly got to know the Taylor family, broken as it was. Even Wiara and Michael would speak with him as he visited their mother although his motivation for this was unclear. He had forced her to go to rehab on days where even her family could not make her go and on occasion held her as she cried from pain, hiding it from all those she loved but not him. He made sure no one ever saw him carry her to bed from sheer exhaustion.  
He came to see her that night only to have Wiara screaming wildly and being held by a stranger and Shada trying to stand whilst crying uncontrollably. Michael was in restraints crying alongside them. The police had questioned them about them about Keller or Evan as they knew him and taken Michael away into the care system and were to take Wiara until Shada could look after her without help.


End file.
